It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
