yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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