I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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