Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize