I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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