"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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