she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i barfeds in our rink
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize