C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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