Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize