I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
