Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
