Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
