nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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