You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
