You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize