How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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