I want to make a zoo with you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
