i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
