After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
