Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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