There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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