we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
