She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize