My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
