I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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