Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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