i just google imaged poop.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
