i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
