I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize