Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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