yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize