living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
