I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
