But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
