I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
