dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
