Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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