Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
