Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
