I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize