I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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