These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
