i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
