Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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