Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
