Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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