R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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