I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
two words: eviction party
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
