did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you win again, gameday.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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