Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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