HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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