I wannas sexs uuuuu
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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