He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
