you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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