Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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