eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
