Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
