So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize