She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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