I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Farmville is her only friend.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
