You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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